Monday, November 2, 2009

Drop the Beat OR Return to Neverland

I know that we should really leave Michael to rest-
Wasn't he supposed to roll back the stone of his tomb after three days, by the way?
What happened to that?-
But I was thinking about all of those pesky molestation charges of his.
And I realized that, unsavory sleepovers or no, the flak was all his fault.
Because when some woman accused him of being an illegitimate father, he wrote a hit single.
No one ever brought it up again.
Soooo...
After the kids tattled on him,
Or the parents made the kids lie,
Or whatever...
He should have called up Quincy and said,
"They're at it again. I need a beat."
Then, he could have died in obscurity like a normal king of pop.



All jokes aside. Seriously.
I could listen to this song over and over again.
It's my favourite of his.
Just goes to show what you can achieve if your father beats you enough.

Sound engineers are incredibly adept at bedding women, by the way.
I had a friend in Banff who was a sound guy.
He had a piranha, a stereo system that snaked his entire apartment, and two girlfriends.
Who were both cultured and beautiful.
And were cognizant of each other.
He was integral to my self-esteem.
If I carried on a conversation with a female customer for more than three minutes, he would chastise me for not asking her out as soon as she left.
He insisted that I should give them staff discounts.
And then ask them to get undressed with me.
In not so many words.
"Just say to her, 'We're not supposed to do this, but I can give that to you at cost.'"
He believed that 100% more women were interested in me than I did.
Really, I should've listened to him.
Two girlfriends.

edit:
I had to add this video cause this kid is sick.
And adorable.
Like if you took all of the fattest Basset Hounds* and baby penguins.
And sleuced them through a meat grinder.


*check the link! check the link!

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