"Mostly Coconut"

Okay, so it was 3am on Thursday and I decided to book it to the Tim's at the bottom of the hill in order to grab myself some coffee and a snack. I'm a sucker for 'baked goods'.
The dream girl from a few posts back? I forgot to mention that her breasts would be small.
Anyway. Tim Hortons, the night crew and I. Obviously, there was no one else there. Normal people were sleeping, which must be nice. Sleeping.
At this point, I was in and out of sleep, doing it occasionally (about as frequently as tidy people do laundry).
My choices were a little strapped. There were chocolate chip cookies. That was it. I didn't want chocolate chip cookies because I'm a baby. So, instead of telling the employee what I wanted, I saw the cookies in their lone basket, and said, "Oh..." and then I just stood there. Finally, she said "There's some other stuff in the glass case."
Display case. Of course. How silly of me.
So, I see walnut brownies. They looked scrumptious. I was about to order one (two or three) when I realized that walnuts contain the word 'nut', and therefore might be a cousin to peanuts, which, through proxy, might kill my roommate. She was home at this point, hovering over her boyfriend, who was very passed out on the living room floor.
I noticed the Nanaimo Bars, and decided that I was good to go. Egg white and chocolate. Bring it on. Can't kill anyone with that. But that bottom layer...What is in that, exactly? I figured it's mostly coconut, but I chose to ask. Not because I was worried about my roommate, mind you, as I'd already decided on getting them, but out of sheer curiousity.
"Do these Nanimo bars contain peanuts, do you think?"
"Umm, I don't think so," she replied. Pause. "But I'm not sure what's in the bottom layer."
I'd already lost interest. I should've said so.
She asked if I was allergic to peanuts, and I explained that I was instead allergic to being responsible for killing my roommate. 
"Let me ask the guys out back." Brief pow wow with the bakers. "They're not sure," she explained.
She asked the bakers to check the contents on the box ('Always Fresh', my ass). A hairy, squat man in white entered from the baking area in the back (although at this point I was wondering what it was he was baking back there). "I'm not sure. It doesn't say what's in 'em. You allergic?"
Employee #1: "He doesn't have the allergy, his roommate does."
Employee #2: "Should be okay. ...Except for that bottom layer. But I think that's just coconut."
Employee #1: "You could get a yogurt,"
Myself: "I'd rather chance it with the Nanaimo Bar."
They first eye me curiously, and then the plate of Nanaimo Bars.
Employee #1: "Are you sure?"
Myself: "Sure. It's okay. If I kill her, it'll be ruled as accidental. I can't do time for that."
No one laughed. A third, very young female employee approached us from the drive-through window.
#3: "What's up?"
#1: "Oh, this gentleman isn't sure if the Nanaimo Bars contain peanuts or not, and his roommate is allergic."
The three of them then discussed what might be in the bottom layer of Nanaimo Bars. At this point, I'd been there for about 15 minutes.
#3 eventually turns to me, stone-faced, and says: "Everything here contains peanuts. I wouldn't do it. You could get a yogurt..."
#2: "You could get fruit punch."
At this point I was wishing I'd gotten a cookie.
#1: (reassuringly): I'm pretty sure the bottom is mostly coconut"
#3: "But, that's still a nut, though. Wouldn't they be the same thing?"
#2: "Nuts!? (While gesturing an approximate size to a basketball) Those big old hairy t'ings?!"
I was then trying not to laugh.
#3: "I wouldn't do it."
Myself: "I think I'll go for it. It'll be fine."
#3: "Are you sure?"
Myself: "Yeah, it's not like I'll kill her. I just have to eat it and then wash my hands. It's peanut residue on doorknobs, so - you probably don't care about my roommate's peanut allergy."
I've been trying to point out when people don't care about things I talk about. I mean, why should she care?
#1: (concerned): "So, a Nanaimo Bar?"
Myself: "Sure. Actually, make it two. Make sure I really finish her off."