Not My Imagination

I've forgotten to divulge on the only aspect of my life that's interesting right now, which I'm embarrassed about. I'd imagine my fans are on the edge of their...computer chairs.
My mustache is actually coming along pretty well. Now, earlier this week (late last week for people who need things that anal and specific) I was thinking of trimming the whole operation. However, seedlings have sprouted, and therefore so has my ambition. I'm a new man, who will soon have a new mustache. The resulting handjobs, my goodness.
Have you noticed that everyone uses the word 'figment', but only in the context of 'figment of my imagination'. I'm going to utilize figment more often. There's no rule that says I can't.
"I'd like a figment of your salad, if you'd part with it."
I liked figments of this post.