my 'i just vomitted voice' fools no one

I called in sick at work today.
I am, in fact, well.
Don't tell them.
I've cut an awful lot of potatoes this summer. Far more than I intended to originally.
I'm a bad liar, and it kills me because my personality dictates that I should be an excellent liar.
Because I like to keep people on their toes, you see.
I've decided that I'm going to lie to people more often (honest). It was a fun thing I always enjoyed doing.
At Butler's wedding I intended to tell people I was an air traffic control person, in case they made chitchat.
Thankfully, no one talked to me.
The father of the bride sang a broadway tune of some sort while giving his speech, in order to commemorate his daughter's union.
I'd be lying if I said it was expected.
I'm going back to bed.