Fire & Brimstone

I haven't the energy.
I went to a Michael's today.
I entered the store, and started laughing immediately.
Out loud.
I said, 'This place is fucked' out loud as well. At least two or three times before I left.
Then I went to Wal-Mart.
For Sarah Turpin.
I also went to a Hallmark, which was slightly more pleasant.
They asked if I'd seen the nicer items (don't wanna give away gift specifics) of the same sort over that way.
I told them I didn't care about the person that much. I was just trying to get into her pants.
They were less pleasant with me after that.
I also had to buy Mr. Clean, to be fair.
I almost drank it while waiting in line to pay for it.
The gifts are moot.
She should be happy with me for even going through the process of buying the gifts.
But if that doesn't get me into her pants, the gifts will.
If they don't work I'm back to hypnotism.

edit: I forgot to mention that Michael's had an aisle entitled Cupcake Essentials.