Start Buying Handguns

Because they've found a cure for death:
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/070910/national/vitamin_d_live_longer*
This is the tagline:
Hidden inside this remarkable 'sunshine nutrient' is the secret to beating death, experts say.
I'd like to meet these guys. These experts.
How could I not read that?
Of course, I couldn't read much of it.
I guess goldfish sales will go down, now.
Why bother buying one for your child so that they can learn what dying is all about?
There's a way to beat it now.
Through whole eggs and fortified margarine.

*link's fucked